| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. |
| GET THEM OUT! Like many other FM members, I have been following the ‘Charity Carp Compo’ saga with interest. All credit to Stuart for organising the last event and dealing with the minutiae that such events throw up along the way. But, as always with me, something began to worm its way into my thought processes and the following train of thought issued forth: Hold up one hand and count off the number of ‘celebrities’, that you can name who admit to going fishing. Nick Hancock, Jack Charlton, Jim Davidson, Chris Tarrant, errr…Did you get past five? Doesn’t exactly seem to have the same cachet about it that golf has, does it? Well now, I am not suggesting that we get them all on to ‘Trisha’ and have them sobbing their hearts out whilst admitting to having lines (nylon, not cocaine!). I think we should get them to stand up and be counted when it comes to supporting their, and our, chosen sport. How about using those hitherto reticent fishing celebrities to give our sport a huge and sustained boost in image and popularity? I am sure that they are not shy of the limelight and all publicity is good publicity as far as they are concerned All over the country, tens of thousands of anglers get involved in regional charity events, and a great many good causes benefit to a limited extent because of it. Why not put all that fragmented effort in one worthy cause per year? Coax, bully, plead, and even embarrass celebrities into attending regional fund raising events. Rope in all the angling publications to show that we can put on a united front. The culmination of the year’s fund raising could be a Grand Finale fished on a Pro-Am basis. This match could pair angling celebrities with members of the public (who will have paid handsomely for the privilege, of course) against teams comprising angling superstars fishing with non-angling celebrities. At the end the total amount raised is presented to that year’s selected worthy cause with as much publicity as can be mustered. With the likes of John Wilson, Matt Hayes, or own dear Graham and others we have enough anglers who are in touch with the media through TV companies to be able to get the message across. Then we have those anglers such as Bob Nudd, Des Taylor et al who are ‘supported’ by tackle manufacturers, and must have enough clout to be able to whip up support in the form of sponsorship of regional events. A good, solid, ‘Middle England’ charity such as the NSPCC would be ideal to kick off with, and a (hopefully!) televised presentation, with loads of beaming celebs handing over a year’s collection totalling possible tens of thousands of pounds can do angling no harm at all. Perhaps we could start with the likes of John Wilson and Matt Hayes inviting well known ‘faces’ to accompany them on some of their fishing jaunts. It may help to soften up the general public’s opinion of fishing, and that can’t be all bad, can it? Ah, but fame has its price. The flash bulbs going off, the pictures being taken. Notice of Intended Prosecution in the post. Do you think that someone travelling to an unknown fishing venue at four in the morning, and hasn’t seen another car for the last five miles, deserves to be caught speeding? If these bloody cameras are supposed to be in accident black spots, shouldn’t that be just during peak hours? How can it be a black spot when you haven’t seen a car, pedestrian, even a stray dog? You can’t have an accident at that time in the morning even if you wanted one! You would probably have to drive round for twenty minutes looking for someone/something to hit. Even then you may have to ask them to stay where they were for a while, so you can reverse back far enough to enable you to reach a terminal velocity fast enough to break the speed limit before you hit them! Some black spot! If the intention is to catch all of us poor motorists for speeding, why not just increase the Road Fund License to £ 200 a year and abolish speed cameras. The extra revenue collected can go towards putting many more Bobbies on the beat to deter muggers, catch burglars and the like. Speed limits should only apply during peak hours, then us poor angling motorists can all go out and drive as fast as we bloody well like! Think of the extra fishing time you could get in over a year by getting to your swim earlier. An additional £ 60 may even pay for itself! And in answer to the obvious thought you are having, no, I haven’t been caught on camera – yet. My last run in with the constabulary was a few years ago whilst rushing to the airport. The charming young constable told me had I had been going slightly faster than the 136mph they had recorded, I would have reached take off speed and they would never have caught me! Ha Ha! |
