Opinion Piece – Fat Carp

My only similarity to Bob is that I write (sometimes!), fish, and my dad died at the age of 42. Actually, so did my dad’s mum, and one of his great granddads. Those of you reading this should have a bet on me. I might be the accumulator bet that could make you rich.

What did the carp angler ever do for us?

Though as the Barbel angler said, “apart from the hair rig, the boilies, the bed chair, the waterproof bivvy, and thousands of articles, what did the carp angler ever do for us?”

To which the tench angler replied, “give us a ******* headache!”

Nowadays what I don’t understand is; do the sponsored bait bandits, who can use over 50 kilos of bait to catch just one big carp in a session, expect us to all rush to the nearest tackle shop to buy the same bait? I say this because when I see photos of anglers holding big carp with such writings I can’t help but secretly scream inside – You only caught one fish on that bait! Or words to that effect!

Anglers like Jim Shelley do get results using mass baiting methods, but would they use the same amount of bait if they had to pay for all of it every week? If we all used the same methods, wouldn’t we take the skill factor out of the carp scene, seeing as carp can become a very greedy creature?

Jim Gibbinson is right to a degree, we can’t blame the angling press…

YES WE CAN!

A few weeks ago, the Angling times awarded Jim Shelley a prize for catching a big bream, and there was a graph showing how much bait he used to catch this bream. Now please correct me if I’m wrong, because I read all this without my glasses on, but I couldn’t help shouting out in Asda’s, to the shock, horror and dismay of fellow customers, …“180 bloody kilos of bait…he’s avin a laugh isn’t he!”

Mr Marsden, when I used to read those articles you wrote about catching big snotty bream when I was a kid, you never used to use that much bait to get the bream on the feed did you? I’m talking in one session not a season. Also it don’t help when the latest Advanced Carp editor tells us in the December issue that he wouldn’t mind the idea of large Aussie imports coming over to Great Britain.

He should try flying from Australia on an airplane inside a highly oxygenated bag packed with ice to lower his metabolism. He even seemed to think the Aussie carp would just be being repatriated…. I promise I wont swear, but Bob Roberts you couldn’t get your old job back could you? I’d put a good word in for you with David Hall. I’d even kidnap David for you if it helped, and hold him to ransom.

Where is it all going wrong? We can’t all agree, but are the new breed of anglers missing the point? I joined the SAA, because I believed they want to protect our love and the environment….and one of my old carping hero’s is now the editor. I’m not gay by the way….even though I do own a two man bivvy.

SAA editor Paul Klinkenborg caught carp on his own bait inventions. Not, “Here mate, here’s ten grand’s worth of ready-mades, and don’t come back into the office until your sling is wet from a big carp!”

Lets face it, to most of us, big is beautiful. I’m talking fish not women. Though the gudgeon ounce for ounce is probably one of the hardest fighting freshwater fish in Britain, but it rarely gets the credit it deserves in the fishing weeklies. I’ve even caught them in the past bigger than my manhood…. That’s not hard said the vicars daughter…Sorry should I rephrase that…Obviously you’re thinking, surely he’s getting confused with eels; then maybe you’re not!

When I catch a big carp I want it to look good. Not have half its face missing from being a greedy fish, or from bad anglers in the past who have tried to rip its lips off on the retrieve. We call it playing fish out; some just call it retrieving. They must do! I always thought you played a carp out, not rotating the reel handle at great speeds. Not like retrieving a lead from the lake when the missus has just rung you to come home early, because she’s wearing that sexy little black number she bought from Ann Summers last week.

Personally I prefer a challenge when fishing for carp. Like fishing the months most prefer not to, on lakes like Wraysbury, and the Brook. I’ll catch one as well one day. Preferably in the worst snow storm in a hundred years.

I nearly pulled it off once. (Stop making up your own jokes!) When landing a common carp of about 30-plus in December time, after playing it out with water nearly up to my nipples, to find out I had foul hooked this beautiful creature about two inches under the bottom lip. The worst way of losing a carp, or any capture. I wished now I’d never seen the fish then I would have thought it just spat me.

Then I would have rather it never even came anywhere near my bait, better than having to tell my mates I’d lost one again. One I this time netted. Foul hooking is the worst way of losing a played out capture. I have heard these stories before about anglers trying purposely to foul hook big barbel Mr Clay. It makes me cringe; it makes me want to bring back hanging actually. I’d do it for free without the hood.