KEVIN PERKINS


Kevin Perkins is one of those anglers who sees the funny side of everything, and there are plenty of funny goings-on in fishing. But not everybody is able to convey the funny and often quirky nature of fishing. But Kevin can. He’s the Alternative Angler who sees that side of things that most of us miss because we’re too busy going about the serious business of catching fish and often missing the satire and laughs along the way.

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

Guiding Lights

THERE HAS BEEN quite a lot of interest in angling guides of late. Many of the famous ‘names’ are now available (at a price, of course) to show you how to get the most out of your fishing. Tips, wrinkles and guidance from the experts, one on one personal tuition, what could be better?

Well, we have got a few here on FM who can do just as good a job as the so-called experts, and may even be able to offer some additional experiences and relevant tuition that you just couldn’t get elsewhere. And given that there is on allegiance to any form of sponsorship, only sound, unbiased advice is meted out. Also, just to highlight the different service provided, when you book your day out with FM, you don’t just get one guide, we believe in making sure you get exactly the right expert/information for every step of your trip.

First and foremost, there is the not so simple task of actually getting to your swim. Real anglers don’t just march up, plonk their gear down and start fishing. Stealth and guile are the watchwords; you need to be able to approach your quarry without arousing suspicion.


Baz
Learn to use every bit of bankside cover, move along the water’s edge like a Ninja, conceal yourself against discovery until the last moment, then appear as if from nowhere.

There is no one more adept at this particular skill than our very own Baz. He will have you at your swim completely under the radar, without anything having detected your presence on the bank. Be aware, though, if you haven’t got your ticket, he will also have you off the said bank so fast you won’t have time to realise what happened, other than you have been banned before you even got started.

Once on the bank, legally, you will be handed over to one of our home-grown experts. If you are lucky, the venerable Ron will be your guide for this part of the session. He has caught just about every species of fish, fowl or beast of the fields, and cooked and eaten most of them too.


Ron
What he doesn’t know about fishing, well basically there isn’t anything at all! And you will be comforted to know that he taught just about every famous angler you can name, although you will have to pump him severely for that information, as he is normally far too modest to boast about his exceedingly long list of prot

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