KEVIN PERKINS


Kevin Perkins is one of those anglers who sees the funny side of everything, and there are plenty of funny goings-on in fishing. But not everybody is able to convey the funny and often quirky nature of fishing. But Kevin can. He’s the Alternative Angler who sees that side of things that most of us miss because we’re too busy going about the serious business of catching fish and often missing the satire and laughs along the way.

Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can.

After I’ve Gone

I suppose that given recent bout of bereavements in my family, it is not entirely unnatural for me to start wondering about my own mortality. There is that slightly chilling moment when you realise that (apart from obvious things like houses!) you are buying items that will almost certainly outlast you. In particular, I recently bought a pair of very nice Okuma baitrunners, sorry, fixed spool reels equipped with a free spool capacity (probably just infringed several copyrights) that appear to be very well made and given the infrequent use and abuse I will subject them to, will almost certainly last beyond my lifetime.

A concerted root around in my tackle boxes to make room for my new toys where, try as I might, I couldn’t find anything to throw away, of course, took me down memory lane. During my delving around I unearthed items of angling equipment that have been with me, man and boy, some for well over forty years. And given that, there is probably no reason to suppose these items won’t go on for just as long again, and in some instances, even longer, in the future. The question is, what then?

My teenage son only has a passing interest in fishing, the angling ‘bug’ never really caught him, and at the moment cars, girls, football, xBox, and A levels (always in that order!) have all of his attention. No other members of my family or friends are convicted anglers, so what will happen to my, albeit meagre, haphazard and uncoordinated collection of tackle, I begin to wonder?

In a similar vein, on recent trip to my local Municipal Waste Management and Materials Recycling Facility (dump) I was just about to unload around 15kgs of ‘free’ newspapers, about the average weekly delivery in these parts, when I espied some books that had been chucked in the paper recycling skip. What caught my eye was that they were fishing books, and in defiance of all the warning signs posted around, six dips into the skip yielded six books, there were more, but I couldn’t reach in any further to get them out.

Now, whilst none of the books I salvaged were old, rare, signed first editions (damn!) a couple were by notable authors, and none was a duplicate of the volumes I already possessed so a real result there then. When I had got home and gloated for a while over my new-found booty, I started to wonder why these books had been dumped in the first place. Surely it can’t be the case that books have become disposable?

Every fishing book I own gets read, put away for a while, sometimes years, then got out and read again, almost as if I hadn’t seen it before. Then again, sometimes they are dug out for reference, and invariably once I have located the nugget of wisdom I was looking for, I re-read the whole book, might as well, while I’ve got it out (don’t tell me it’s just me, again?).

Perhaps the cause of the book dumping was the result of a domestic incident that had taken place, a little bit of over-zealous housekeeping by a wronged partner? Maybe a fishing widow had been left on her own just once too often for her liking and decided to usurp the objects of her husbands’ affections. There again, it may have been a house clearance due to bereavement, where anything of no perceived value is dumped, or due to stirring up painful memories, certain possessions have to be removed.

The truth is, of course, we will never know why someone’s angling library was dumped in such a manner. My thoughts turned to what will happen to mine when I finally shuffle off. I am sure as I can be that they won’t be going down to the tip to be unceremoniously dumped in a recycling skip. I shudder at the thought of them going to a car boot sale and being sold off at twenty pence a time, perhaps less, or maybe even worse, being given away to a charity shop.

Like many others on FM I have angling books which are first editions, some are signed by the author, and whilst in my case, my ‘library’ is only numbered in tens rather than hundreds of tomes, there is certainly a not insignificant value to some of them. And of course, the same applies to all my tackle as well. I would like to think that it should be possible for anglers in a similar situation to me in having ‘orphan’ equipment, to be able to bequest these items in a manner that will be of benefit for angling after I/we have gone.

How about a few ‘Oxfam’ type shops for all this donated gear dotted around the country and run for the benefit of the ACA or schemes supporting young anglers? Judging by the plethora of charity shops that spring up everywhere, suitable premises must be available for a peppercorn rent. Local tackle shops could sign up to the plan and act as collection points for unwanted gear, before it’s all collected up by the ACA or similar to be (fairly) priced up and sold on. Tackle donated by anglers, sold by anglers for the benefit of anglers.

No, hang on, that sounds far too simplistic, so it’s never going to happen, is it….?

As a footnote, I did email the germ of this idea to the Angling Trades Association, just to sound out their thoughts. The response was that whilst it sounded fine in principle – bloody good luck in trying to get their members to participate…….that sounds a bit like a ‘NO’ to me, but any retailers on here like to comment?

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