In the depths of the coldest winter for years all around the country a select group of men and women received a strange email. Was it from a foreign gentleman promising millions for just the small matter of your bank account details? No, Graham had tried that one once too often! It was from some bloke called Clarke.
My first thought was an invitation to join the cast of Last of the Summer Wine. They need a posh character since the demise of Frank Thornton. Checking again, the missive was from a Ray Clarke not Roy Clarke. Sad that. Wolfman Woody would have been so jealous.
This chap Clarke was inviting us to fish Blenheim Palace lake in June of 2009. Was it a wind up? Other names started to leak out…..Slime, the “ Whatmore Deaners” from “The Forest”, Spiller, Farrow, S.Kippy…even Elwin was contacted in the mysterious East (Indonesia not Clacton!)
Others of fishing’s elite also answered the call. God-like creatures who were referred to in hushed tones…Nellist, Les Clark. Then I saw Spiders, Uncle Dave and Poshers. It wasn’t a wind up but clearly Ray had decided to invite some of us along for comic relief!!!
Excitement grew. This noble band were even allowed a little thread on FM. Like little schoolboys the thread fair burbled with the chunderings of those so excited they couldn’t get to sleep. Pairings were announced, but at the last minute, PJ got his long desired chance of a date with Carla Bruni so pulled out. Never mind because Fred Bonney was the sub; like replacing Ronaldo with Torres!
What follows are my recollections and reflections of the event. They may occasionally resemble the truth.
Tanned and without an ounce of spare flesh, or fishing tackle, Elwin arrived on my doorstep. The car was loaded and we set off on the journey from Stockport to Woodstock. It was an easy journey and I remained calm and civil towards all fellow road users.
At 6.30 on the Friday evening we arrived. The campsite quickly took our money – including the extra for the electric hookup we didn’t know we had and couldn’t have used!! We turned in to the row of pitches that had been cordoned of for our exclusive use. Not a soul in sight!!
Can you start to imagine how we felt at the sight of a dishevelled creature emerging blinking into the afternoon sunlight. “Hello, I’m Dave……Slime Monster”. Ric just managed to retain control of his bowels. It was the start of an excellent evening.
A phone call to Spiders revealed that the advanced parties of Uncle Dave, Spiders, Steve and Wendi Spiller had struggled over the last couple of days fishing the Palace Lake. They were on their way back. Better still the godlike Les Clark had carted his deluxe bivvie from Whitstable to Oxfordshire and had set it up. Ric and I had superb living quarters for the whole weekend.
There was also significant speculation as to what electrical device was connected to the supply in the Spiller’s tent. It turned out to be a fridge and electric kettle. What we imagined would have made for a much more lurid but fun story. Interesting we didn’t see any rabbits anywhere on the campsite.
Then Hewitt arrived, bringing his dad. Now I am tall and have unfeasibly large hands. For those of you who have not met Mark Hewitt – well lets just say I thought there had been an eclipse of the sun! Small he is not!!
We ate and drank in the campsite bar – friendly but lacking real ale and serving dodgy blended whisky. I do admit to needing to crawl out of the bivvie in the manner of Captain Oates….I was “gone” for some time.. but did return!!
The great day dawned. The campsite band got to the Fisherman’s car park at Woodstock late. How we got there at all I don’t know, but we got there. Ray Clarke greeted us and acquaintances and re-acquaintances were made.
Folk tried to take in the setting whilst quickly staggering to the punts. Some brought so much gear that punts were in danger of sinking. The party cast off. Three punts then returned as gear had been left behind, picked up by mistake or other feeble excuses.
If you’ve read the Blenheim thread you know it wasn’t the greatest day’s fishing for everyone. It was, however, a grand day out! (Note to self…having taken trouble to put maggots in cool box do not then put other stuff on top covering airholes..sticky mag wasn’t a successful bait!!)
A good number of us blanked despite everybody reporting sail away bites which resulted in nothing. There were some notable catches; a brace of 3lb plus perch for S. Kippy stand out. I shall also treasure the dexterity and grace of the terns picking bait of the surface of the lake.
For me the important thing was the day itself. It brought home to me one of the greatest virtues of FM. Many of us had not met each other before. A stranger observing our merry band would not believe this.
The reason…FM had broken the ice already. We already “knew” each other. Slime commented on how well everybody instantly got on.
It was sad that we could not all socialise together after the event but many did have to travel significant distances to get home. There will be other opportunities and I, for one, will endeavour to attend as many FM events as possible. Who knows one day I may even catch a fish at one of them!
Returning to the campsite a ribald evening beckoned. Speci had taken the trouble to come and meet us. He was encouraged (told off by Wendi) to go and bring Mrs. Speci to meet us all. I bet many a woman would dream of that as an exciting Saturday night out!!
The Sock!
Sunday morning dawned. Slime had bivvied with Ray and socks had been shared…following the example of Spider’s secretion of his sock in Uncle Dave’s sleeping bag. Much evidence of excessive consumption of red wine was to be seen; particularly in Steve Spiller’s eyes and the sympathy he was receiving from Wendi.
Slowly and sadly we made our goodbyes and left.
Personal thanks go to Ray Clarke, Wendi and Steve Spiller and Les and Christine Clark for their kindnesses. (And to Ric Elwin for not snoring.)
Thanks to all who have sent me photos.
Poshers
The merry band were –
Spider & Slime (sounds like a drink from a horror movie)
Les Clark & Woody
Fred Bonney & Andy Nellist
Skippy & Parksy
Wol & Murray
Scott & Graham Whatmore
Steve & Wendi Spiller
Richard Farrow & Grumpy
Mark Hewitt & Mr Hewitt
Uncle Dave & Ray
John & Dave
Poshers & Ric Elwin
