Never again

[Morespiders]

Went with Corker and Posh on the Ribble on Friday afternoon, seeing what the weather was like on Thursday and early Friday, it was with some trepidation we set out on Friday afternoon, still p----g down.

We met Corker at the designated spot, his huge grinning, stupid face, meeting us.

Follow me, after another 10 minutes we arrived at the carpark, this is it lads, what is?.

Still pouring down we got togged up trying to keep dry which was pointless.

So off we went, across muddy fields, with the Ribble valley far far below us looking like the Colarado river from the rim of the Grand Canyon.

We were informed about the walk, 30mins, but not about the depth of mud in the water sodden fields, anyway after 30 minutes of skidding and sliding, (it was all downhill) a very steep downhill, we arrived at the bottom.

Knackered.

The Ribble looked like The Zambesi in the rainy season abouteight feet up,Posh looked at me and threw bach his head, I rolled my eyes.

WTF have we come here for, Im 60 now and not to much longer to live, and even shorter to live if you slip anywhere.

First swim we come to i really fancied from the point of view, i would not have to walk any further, but being the inquisitive kind though , go further down river see if i could find anywhere better, somewhere where it wasnt raining and was sunshining.

Posh and Corker found swims i carried on another 100 yds and found a swim with a nice eddy.

By now i had had enough, put my banksticks in set one rod up and cast halfheartedly in.

Minute later a tree came down, when i say a tree i mean aTREE, stopped midriver, turned and came back with the eddy through my swin and caght on the bank 20 yds upriver, by this time i had to pull my banksticks back another 2 yds it was rising that rapidly, the tree again left the shelter of the bank and sailed merrily down river to the sea.

 

[Steve Spiller]

Sounds like a great day out ya misserable old bugger!

How long was it before Clinker had to "pinch one off"?

 

[slime monster]

more i was enjoying that ..did anyone die?

 

[Rickrod]

will you go again

 

[Merv Harrison]

<blockquote class=quoteheader>rickrod wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>will you go again</blockquote>
He's posted that from his laptop Rickrod, he's still in his bivvie halfway back up the hill /forum/smilies/confused_smiley.gif

 

[Cakey]

ha ha ha ................................more mr spids

 

[Morespiders]

Sorry, I was editing it, and the rest hasnt come out.

followed by a sheep with its legs pointing skywards, 3 chairs, car wheels, pallets, croc (shoe) logs, and more footballs than the new owners of Manchester City could afford.

So i decided to move back up river to where we started.

Went past Paul, didnt bother to ask if he had caught out, the look on his face said it all./forum/smilies/crying_smiley.gif

Came up to Corker, would you like a peice of apple pie he asked?/forum/smilies/sick_smiley.gif So Ieventually arrived back to where we started.

After 5 mins i had to retreat another 3 yds away from the river, 2 mins later my baitbucket tipped over spilling the contents into the raging torrent, and i just about caught my flask before it sailed away to Southport.

Moved back another 3 yds, by now Mr Corker and Paul had come upriver from me, twenty mins later Corker came up and asked,you ready to go?. YESSSSS there is a god!

So we packed up and started to climb back up the valley, after 20 mins of slipping and sliding back down themountain, we eventually came to near the top, where was Corker? , not that by this time i could of cared less.

Eventually a light appeared in the distance, five mins later he appeared in front of us.

This is a supposedly anintelligent bloke, whowent to university, got a degree and holds down a very responsible job.

He had left his chair at the bottom of the Mountain, and had to go back down for it/forum/smilies/sick_smiley.gif.

So off we went again, 20 mins later Paul and myself stopped again, LOST, Corker nowhere to be seen, so Paul said you watch the tackle ,I will go in front and see if I can find which way to go.

No sign of Mr Corker, after another 5 mins a light came out of the gloom , yes you have guessed it , Corker, .

Hes 40, im 60 the Boy was suffering from cramp in his calves,/forum/smilies/hot_smiley.gif Paul arrived back 5 mins later still not knowing where the f---k we were, anyway after another 20 mins and walking round every field in Lancashire we arrived back at the cars.

Keeping well away from Mr Corker, ( In case I strangled him) we pilled the muddy and soaking tackle into the car without a word./forum/smilies/dont_tell_anyone_smiley.gif

By this time i had calmed down, Corker had the stupidity to ask me if i had enjoyed it?, and would I like to go again?.

Corker, If your reading this, NO, and my advice to anybody else he ask, Think about it very carefully, Im back home now safe and sound, still having nightmares and flashbacks to the evenings events.

Spoken to Posh today, we have made arrangements to go somewhere next week, dont let Corker know though, were going without him.

PS

Corker Threw your forceps over our fence, feel a lot better now!!!.

 

[Morespiders]

<blockquote class=quoteheader>slime monster wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>more i was enjoying that ..did anyone die?</blockquote>
NO, But next time./forum/smilies/nerd_smiley.gif

 

[Wolfman Woody]

And you often moan about taking the old codgers fishing.

/forum/smilies/smile_smiley.gif

Bit of advice Derek - never accept a trip with Captain Carrott either. Not quite, but almost as bad and you'll get a bad back.

 

[Wobbly Face (As Per Ed)]

I have seen the Ribble twice in flood when out to fish it, never fished as we thought better of it. Was nice to see salmon moving up river whilst in the pub car park having a brew.

 

[Ray Daywalker Clarke]

hahahaha, what until you get to the Palace, i might get a boat for Corker, be a bit like uncle Albert i think, during the war!!!!

 

[Paul C]

Sounded like a proper good old fashion Ribble trip to me.

What are moaning about, these are the days you remember more than catching a PB. /forum/smilies/i_dont_know_smiley.gif

The smell of cow shit lasts for days.......

 

[Morespiders]

<blockquote class=quoteheader><blockquote class=quoteheader></blockquote>


Ray Daywalker Clarke wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>hahahaha, what until you get to the Palace, i might get a boat for Corker, be a bit like uncle Albert i think, during the war!!!!</blockquote>


If Corker comes it will be like another war has started!!!.

The Boy's dangerous<blockquote class=quoteheader>Woody the Moaning Marlow Meldrew wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>

And you often moan about taking the old codgers fishing.

/forum/smilies/smile_smiley.gif

Bit of advice Derek - never accept a trip with Captain Carrott either. Not quite, but almost as bad and you'll get a bad back.</blockquote>
Noted Jeff./forum/smilies/nerd_smiley.gif

 

[Ray Daywalker Clarke]

Corker and Captain Carrott in the same punt, now theres an idea.

 

[Cakey]

ha ha ha love it spids ........who the f*** is jacko

message on msn last night ....pi55 off jacko

 

[Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC)]

<blockquote class=quoteheader>Ray Daywalker Clarke wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>Corker and Captain Carrott in the same punt, now theres an idea.</blockquote>

If this can be arranged - I'll pilot the original submarine that the Duke of Marlborough used at Ramillies - thats Ramillies-on-Sea not the famous battleground.

It was Corker's advice to follow tree lines that did for us - seemed perfectly sensible until I remembered that we had not done that going and the tree lines Matt was pointing to seemed to be located more in Cumbria rather than Lancashire!

Had the mud been any deeper we'd have lost Corkers for good.

I enjoyed fishing in water that 10 minutes earlier was ground I had been sitting on! I think the formation seat shifting could become one of those celebrity events that fill Saturday Night T.V. in the same way that 888t fills up Matt's digestive sytem

go again-----of course I will /forum/smilies/disappointed_smiley.gif

 

[Graham Whatmore]

I would have thought that you (Mr Spiders) would have realised with your vast knowledge of the piscatorial world that needing a pair of binocculars to see the river would have rung warning bells. Even moreso when you had to walk downhill to the river knowing that it was uphill coming back, and the fact that it was pi55ing down as well. All part of lifes rich pageant eh!

Oh! Mr Spiders what can we do

He went to fish for barbel

and ended up with flu!

 

[Morespiders]

<blockquote class=quoteheader></blockquote>
<blockquote class=quoteheader>Graham Whatmore wrote (see)</blockquote><blockquote class=quote>

I would have thought that you (Mr Spiders) would have realised with your vast knowledge of the piscatorial world that needing a pair of binocculars to see the river would have rung warning bells. Even moreso when you had to walk downhill to the river knowing that it was uphill coming back, </blockquote>

Graham, the warning bell's should have rung when we could see the water flowing over the M6, and only the tops of double decker buses showing, but you cant leave young kids like Corker 40and Posh 52 to fish on their own in those conditions, they needed a responsible adult with them, far to dangerous to let them run amok, without supervision.

If you saw the excitement on Corkers little face when he's going fishing, how could you let the kid down? His mother had made him some nice sandwiches and cut the crust off for him ,packed neatly in his little Noddylunchbox , and his little Thomas the Tank Engine flask,

 

[Mr Cholmondeley-Corker (PaSC)]

/forum/smilies/smile_smiley.gif

Pretty close account Spiders!

However, you got one important bit of detail wrong and forgot to mention something that was very significant.

I didn't have cramp in my calves. It was my chuffin back and the spasm didn't ease off until Sunday morning! That's the last time I offer to carry your bag because your "legs just aren't what they used to be"

AND you forgot to mention the fig roles, which I know I offered you, but you just mumbled some old fogey b*ll*cks so I went back to my swim (which was well above the water and required no backing off). You see, a bit of water craft and foresight and you can fish in comfort without constantly backing up the hill.

AND you forgot to mention that you sighted yourself between two of the biggest sloppiest cow pats with the edge of your brolly located in each one. That was just asking for it! There's no wonder the missis wouldn't let you in when you got home.

AND how the hell did you manage to walk off with my forceps. DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN, HE HIS A BLUDDY TEA LEAF. A TNT Courier will be arriving at your house Tuesday morning at 1100 to pick them up. Yes I know you have another hour in bed, just stick them in your dressing gown pocket so you don't forget.

AND you forgot to mention that you were fishing with a beach caster and a Mitchel 300 with two 8oz watch leads tie wrapped together lobbed into the main flow. FINESSE my arse.

 

[Poshpaul (Angling Trust and PaSC)]

Nobody has mentioned any fish! /forum/smilies/dont_tell_anyone_smiley.gif

Bit harsh Matt - Morespiders clearly has learned a lot from Ray Walton on rolling lead technique - it was impressive to see 16oz of lead roll - although I preferred your apple flan ......and why was there a red light emitting from your peg?..even Deanos' Auntie Kathleen wouldn't have been working in those conditions......mind you most of those sheep had a very satisfied look on them as we squelched back (those sheep who hadn't floated past Spiders, legs akimbo, that is - and, before anybody starts, they floated by far too fast for Spiders to catch them.)

Doctor bit confused....she's only seen trenchfoot in medical history books!!