Gis a rod, Granville!Well lads, you might have just watched Wayne Rooney score a blistering goal for Manchester United (well, when he actually starts scoring goals again you might have!). But if you had you could not help but notice he was wearing the latest stylish…VERY expensive football boots! You may be fifty plus and 17 stone, but you are not so daft not to realise that when you have a kick-about with the grandkids in the park you could only exhibit your natural talents if you were wearing those boots. With those boots you would ‘cut a bit of a dash’ and probably score a few good goals just like the star himself! I spent three days in hospital with a huge hernia by the way after the two five year olds beat me sixteen nil, and the cheeky doctor gave me a diet sheet and suggested that I ‘grew up a bit’. It’s no wonder the health service is in the state it is in, kids telling us grownups how to behave! So, you want the best, you know only the best is good enough. So, this is my point: Like you, I love to fish. There are the talented few out there who can ‘catch fish out of a bucket’ with a garden cane. FM star Ron ‘The Fig’ Clay springs to mind, and so does John ‘the stick float’ Ledger. I am of course in every way equal in my fishing prowess to these FM celebrities, the only difference being that they actually catch fish, and I don’t! Now these lads are at the top of their game, fishing superstars. But just what is giving them the edge over you and me? KIT! That’s it, they all have barrowloads of the best kit that money can buy! I was still using a ten foot fibreglass rod bought from Woolworth’s some twenty five years ago for six quid! Oh silly me! I just simply had to upgrade…and fast! I joined FM, and was soon made aware by two gentlemen of the angling world (ED and Steve D.B) that the site was run by one of the richest men in angling, who gave away very expensive, expert standard barbel rods like they were going out of fashion. Well, despite my efforts to procure one of these rods (through very noble efforts I might add) nothing came my way; the rich got richer, the poor got poorer (me!). But my catch rate remained the same (as I wasn’t catching owt anyway, that wasn’t hard). This left only one course of action, I would have to…..BUY ONE! Unless you are a Yorkshireman you will not understand the effect that this had on me. I obviously did not want to get a job or anything like that, and my pittance of a handout barely kept me in pie and chips! But needs must. I literally had to sell the clothes off my back! I can only thank the boss of FM (Mr Granville Marzdin) for helping me to change my life and become an honest man (although if ‘old greedy’ had coughed up in the first place this would never have happened). I am now living in a friend’s garage, with no worldly goods or money to join an angling club. But if you check out the picture you shall see that I at last got my hands on a VERY expensive barbel rod!
Is this the end of the road you might ask, is Skid Row worth it for 12ft of carbon? Well no, not really, as I am a bit bored with barbel fishing already! So…. Dear Mr Granville Marzdin, Thank you very much, Derrick Deanos PS: Has anyone got an old pair of kegs and a jumper they could send me, its freezing living in this garage! |
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