I’m The Man Of The House (Until SHE Gets Home!)

So how do we manage it? It’s out of the question to do a night session before the new baby comes along as that’s simply not fair but, escapism is what we need in order to balance our lives and be able to maintain the right mind-set in which to juggle all of the above.

Stuart – enjoying his fishing, but where’s ‘er indoors?

Yeah, and I must be the most stupidest of all! I mean what could I possibly enjoy about fishing? It can’t be the looking forward to going, it can’t be the turning up at a venue before sunrise and watching the sun come up and slowly cut through the mist on the surface. It can’t be the spotting of fish and determining feeding patterns through the discovery of bubbles. It can’t be the adrenalin pumping through the veins as that indicator starts to rise or that float begins soaring off and then submerges below the surface. It can’t be the playing of a fish that takes you left and right until it slowly tires and you manage to get it to take its first gulp of air before landing it.

Yeah…… I’m stupid, but I’m not on my own here am I? They say live and let live and as far as fishing is concerned, I’m living, so let me live!

But what never ceases to amaze me is that all my fishing buddies seem to be fishing all the time. If only I could balance my books and be able to fish as much as they do. We’ve all done it, we’ve all used the same ‘age old’ lines on the war office when trying to justify our stupid little pointless excursions.

“Why is it all my mates go all the time and all you do is nag that I’m always fishing!” But being honest, we’re all in the same boat, its just that classic ‘the grass is always greener’ syndrome. There’s not much we wouldn’t do to get a few hours fishing in.

“I’m gonna be a bit late tonight darling as I’ve got a meeting in town.” Whilst I sneak in a few hours of surface fishing, preying to god the mobile doesn’t ring. We’re all so smart aren’t we? They haven’t got a clue have they? How could they?

Yeah Right…..believe that and I’ll tell you another!

“Why don’t you take the boys with you when you go? All you do is sit there isn’t it!” Now I could think of a thousand reasons as to why I wouldn’t take them along with me, the first of which is Henry is 12 months and Alfie is 36 months and in my book, that’s just a tad too young. But don’t fear boys, you will soon grow to become Daddy’s little allies, you will soon be receiving calls from Daddy at midday on Friday afternoons. Calls that will start with the following: “Listen lads, start on at Mum that you want to go night fishing tonight, start asking now, then when I come home, Mum can tell me how much you guys have been rattling her cage about how you want to go, then all I have to do is shrug my shoulders in a ‘I suppose I can’t let them down kinda way’ and against my wishes, I’ll just have to take them won’t I?” The things I do for my kids huh?

So when not fishing, how can I fish? How can I still live and breathe my passion without chucking out the rods? How can I feel the hole in my heart and meet all of my escapism needs and requirements without upsetting the applecart? I know, why not join an online-community-following which lives, breathes and talks fishing 24 hours a day? That was some two years ago, now when I want my fix I end up talking to a screen instead. If I’m not on FISHINGmagic I’m on MSN with Carp Angler, Cakey, Roto and the rest of the FISHINGmagic motley crew! Rattling away to all hours of the morning, discussing rigs, dreaming about fishing venues and generally feeling part of a cyberspace fishing club. But unfortunately it’s like fishing itself, where the smarter you get, the smarter the fish become, but with one big difference, the fish in this case is my better half. “It’s 3 O’clock in the bloody morning and all I can hear is you TAP,TAP, TAPPING on that bloody keyboard”.

It’s not as if I’m sitting here looking at porn all bloody night, I’m just getting my fix, that’s fair enough isn’t it? Obviously not! So time to move up a scale or two with the methodology. Time now to dig out a text intensive business proposal document. I’ll open up the document on screen and then open up my fishing chat room and my favourite fishing site in front of it and then when the war office comes bolting through the door with her fist of steel screaming the odds, I’ll quickly minimise the fishing pages, etc, leaving my business doc open and reply sweetly: “Hey hun, I know its late, but I have to get this proposal done by the morning in order for me to put food on the table and of course to fund those lovely dresses that you like to buy. I won’t be long and don’t worry about me, I know I’m working hard but I’ll be ok” (whimper whimper, out come the puppy dog eyes).

Am I on my own here? Am I the only guy who goes through this? I think deep down we all believe we rule the roost, we make out we’re in control, but let’s face it, we never really win and when push comes to shove we may win the battle, but we will always, always lose the war!

I’ve had a good long think about this predicament and to tell you truth I’ve had enough. I’m not going to stand for any more and I’m going to put the record straight. No more Mr. Nice Guy, no more giving in, this guy is going to take control of this situation from now on. If I want to go fishing or if I want to talk and breathe fishing then that’s what I’m going to do. Yep, I’ve made my mind up and I’m going to drive straight home and put the record straight once and for all! Well, maybe after I’ve done the washing up and the laundry!

The truth is I wear the trousers (but only when she lets me) and deep down, I’m well happy!

“Sorry dear I’m coming now.”

That’s all from me folks, I’ve got to do the weekly shop before she belts me again!