For me a New Year is always a time for both looking forward and a time for reflection, and in particular I have been contemplating my contributions to FM over the years. Around 300 articles containing over 250,000 words (a quarter of a million….!) and it is my proud boast that no one ever learnt anything about fishing from all that waffle, a prime example of ‘Emperor’s New Clothes‘ if ever there was!
This sleight of hand on my part has been to have articles put up on FM since 2002 and not to have my lack of angling competence exposed is indeed remarkable. The irony is that during this time my efforts have been firmly rebuffed when presented to the legitimate angling press as ‘Not being what our readers want’. From this I can only surmise that those anglers who read the written word are a different breed entirely to those who scan the web. Or maybe my lack of a retainer from the publisher or need to promote a sponsor’s products has diminished the appeal of my offerings (cynical, moi…?)
I will freely admit that I have always thought my left-field ramblings were on the periphery of the FM universe, about as far away as the asteroid belt. So, near enough for people to be aware, but far enough away to not really be included. However, things change. FM has evolved, of course, with changes to both editors and members, and I have changed, to the extent that I now feel my orbit from the FM world has moved out to the far side of Pluto.
The title of this piece reflects the fact that the more articles I try to write, the less happy I am with them when they are ‘finished’. Whereas in the early days I was writing almost weekly, that output has dramatically tailed off of late. Possibly because I try not to repeat or re-hash anything I have done before and also because I try to steer clear of any form of plagiarism.
All this waffle is just leading up to my decision to retire my considerable (!) writing talents for the foreseeable future. This is because I no longer feel connected to the FM members and it is a disconnect that makes writing feel slightly alien. It’s like I don’t know who I am writing for any longer and that makes it difficult for me to know where to ‘aim’ the pieces.
I have tried satire, sarcasm, poems, political comment, ridicule and anything else I can throw at the keyboard, but it seems if I want to promote any form of response from members, the best (and by far the easiest) thing I can do is write a two line forum comment rather than trying to conjure up 800+ word articles out of thin air.
Now, this is not me picking up my ball and ‘flouncing off’. I have always been in the camp of ‘don’t ask what FM can do for you, but ask what you can give back to FM etc.’ but rather that I don’t feel able to offer up much more. What I do plan for the future is to distil all of those ramblings into a tome that will not be a ‘Best of’ but rather a ‘Least Worse of’ collection of loosely connected articles cobbled together for posterity.
This will, of course be a vanity self-publishing affair because the legitimate angling literature houses won’t touch it with a barge pole lashed to a 16m pole held at arm’s length. It will therefore be a very exclusive volume because I only want one copy for myself. This is so that in my dotage I can sit by the fireside and thumb through the pages, chuckling inwardly to myself and wondering just where I dreamed up all those brilliant anecdotes, witticisms, and bon mots. (And probably puzzled by just who the writer was….)
So, time to sign off from the ‘Features’ area on FM and over to the dark side of the Forums where I can roam unimpeded in my comments (assuming I don’t incur the wrath of the Mods, of course) and join in the general bonhomie of the members. I prefer to start at the top, so I will be stalking the aristocracy: Lord Paul and Posh Paul be afraid, be very afraid.
I can’t depart without taking a moment to thank those who actually scrolled through my inane ramblings over the years, only pausing to say your support was most welcome, although you will never get that time back. To those who haven’t read any of my utterances, you’ve had a very, very lucky break.
For my parting shot, I shall turn to the great bard William Shakespeare ‘All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women (and FM writers) merely players’
See you soon
Kevin
