The angler’s view…
Right, that’s everything set up. Lovely. I’ve been looking forward to this all week, and what a long week it’s been. Between work and running around after my daughter I felt at times as though my head would spin off my shoulders, but this is the perfect antidote. There’s not the slightest wisp of wind, the neap tide unburdened by any kind of swell. Temperatures are even a couple of degrees above where they should be for this time of year, so everything’s looking good. The rods are in the water, I’ve pre-cut bait for the next couple of casts and there’s a cuppa steaming away in the side tray of my tackle box. Time to get in some relaxation.
“Hi there! Caught anything?”
Sod it. “Hello. No, I’ve only just put the first cast out there.”
This is now going to go one of two ways: either he’ll think waiting around to see a fish is too much of a time investment or he’ll stick around for the long haul. He hasn’t moved.
Sod it.
“What are you hoping to catch?”
He seems nice enough and genuinely curious, and although I usually have a lot of time for such people, tonight I could really do with being left alone. Besides which, if he sticks around, I know I’ll soon turn into one of the Chuckle brothers. CLUNK! Too late. There goes the bloody bucket, scattering my bait all over the place. Sodding marvellous. Time to cut some more. Now, cue the…
“What bait are you using?”
There it is.
“Ah, just some fish baits I had lying around in the freezer. You know, mackerel, squid, prawn, that kind of stuff.” A quiet nod. Does he even know what I just sai…
“Ow!” Marvellous; now I’ve cut my bloody finger.
“You okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” A blatant lie as I’ve just dragged a filleting knife across my finger and am bleeding like a stuck pig. Bloody idiot. All I have to wrap around it is a bit of electrician’s tape I keep at the bottom of the box for repairs. He seems about to say something, but a sideways glance soon silences him.
Right, let’s salvage this. Time to change the bait and have another cast. At least there’s some fresh bait ready cut.
Okay, fresh bait on, turn away and let fly with the cast…CRRRRACK!
Really? You have got to be kidding me. I turn to look at my observer.
“Bye then. Good luck.”
He almost sounded as though he really meant that last comment. I watch him trudge off, leaving me standing here with a rod and reel, no rig attached, and a stupid look on my face.
I think I’ll take up gardening.
The passer-by’s view…
The weather’s lovely this evening. There’s barely a breath of wind, and the sea’s flat calm. It’s a beautiful, mild evening to get in a stroll along the beach after a hard day at work. If this is what it’s like down here, perhaps I should spend more time on the beach. Perhaps I should take up a sport. Sailing? Fishing? There’s a fisherman now; I’ll go down and watch him for a bit, see if I can get some idea of what it’s like.
“Hi there! Caught anything?”
Hm; this one doesn’t look happy, not happy at all. I thought anglers were supposed to be relaxed, peaceful types.
“Hello. No., I’ve only just put the first cast out there.”
This is going to go one of two ways: either he’ll do his best to ignore me and hope I’ll go away or he’ll feel he has to say something.
Seems like he’s not in the mood for company. Right, just keep it cheerful.
“What are you hoping to catch?”
Ah, there’s a little glimmer there. He almost smiled then! He’s turning round; he’s finally going to start talking to me; he’s…CLUNK! Oh bugger it that’s put the kibosh on it; he’s gone all miserable again. Quite funny though, watching him trying to act all casual when he’s just kicked his bait all over the place.
Errr…”What bait are you using?”
“Ah, just some fish baits I had lying around in the freezer. You know, mackerel, squid, prawn, that kind of stuff. Ow!”
Oh this is priceless. Now the idiot’s gone and cut himself, and he’s wrapping it up with…electrician’s tape? Really? Dozy sod.
“You okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.”
Ah, finally; some fishing! It’s only taken him twenty minutes!
CRRRRACK!
Oh for God’s sake. I reckon I’ve seen enough of this idiot.
“Bye then. Good luck.” Reckon he’ll need it.
I think I’ll take up gardening.
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