Pilgrim’s Progress

He is also a very keen angler, having come back to the sport in 1995 following a break of several years. In this regular column he will tell us about his progress as an angler – his thoughts about the sport, what he learns, the fishing trips he makes, the anguish, the humour, in fact everything he experiences as his angling career develops.

Pilgrim’s Progress – read it everyThursday!

The Tongue In Cheek Guide To Specimen Hunting – Part 2

Last week in Part 1 we looked at the route to becoming a specimenhunter. Before proceeding with this week’s offering it is importantthat you read the warning at the start of these articles:

Any further reading that you may choose to do,is entirely at your own risk. This article contains statements thatmay cause grave offence to those without a sense of humour. If you donot wish to proceed further, exit right now. If you do choose toprogress, the author of this article declares that he will not beheld responsible for any feelings of anger, hatred or violence thatanyone may feel after reading this article. Particularly the latter.And even more so, if it is directed at him.

The author also wishes to state that anyreference in this article to an individual is not based on any actualhuman being, alive or dead. And to clarify the latter, the word deadrefers not just to dead in body, but also to anyone that may bealive, but brain dead.

This article is most definitely X rated and isonly to read by mature, balanced, and reasonable human beings. If youfeel you are in that category, read on…..

Read it and happy? Then please feel free to continue with thisweek’s conclusion…..

If you want to become a specimen angler begin to develop a hatredfor other anglers, particularly these so-called pleasure ones. A bitof sunshine and they’ll be everywhere, like a rash. They think theyown the lake. Stand up to them, threaten them with violence, swear atthem. Do anything, but get rid of them. Because once they take root,just like dry rot, you’ll never be able to see them off. They’ll tryand stop you from casting where you like.

As a specimen angler it is your right to cast where you want. Youfish with four rods and if you want to spread them across the fourcorners of the lake, that is your right. If a pleasure anglercomplains that you’ve taken up every swim on the two acre lake, hithim. Yes, you read that right. Punch him right between the eyes. Whatwould you do if you had a rat in your house? You wouldn’t reason withit would you? You’d kill it. Well then.

Of course, pleasure anglers belong to clubs. As a specimen anglerthe only benefit of a club is that you get to fish the water. Don’tjoin in the social side of club life, use it for your own advantage.But once you’re in the club and really fancy one of the stretches,then make the owner of the water a secret offer. Tell him it is bestif he leases the water to you rather than the club, as it is muchbetter to have a few chosen individuals on the venue in question,rather than the riff-raff that belong to the club.

But be careful. When talking to the owner, don’t talk in grunts.Put on your very best charm offensive. Then, after sowing seeds inhis mind, spend the next few weeks throwing empty meat cans,groundbait packets, bread wrappers and discarded line on hisproperty. By the end of the second week, he’ll have thrown the cluboff the water and be beating a path to your front door, begging youto sign the lease so that you can establish your syndicate. But don’tfeel sorry for the pleasure anglers. There’s always a muddy holesomewhere they can sit around.

But there is one group that you need to belong to. The SpecimenGroup. Even better if you can get invited into it. But don’t worry ifinvites aren’t exactly thick on the ground, you can always start yourown. There is a major problem though with specimen groups – they aremade up of people just like you. Unfortunately, they’re not always abreeding ground for unity. But, as they say, if you can’t beat them,join them. In other words, give as good as you get. So be preparedfor fights, fall outs, violence and jealousy. But, as the song goes,’it’s all in the game’

Averages are important if you want to be a specimen hunter. No,I’m not talking about batsmen and bowlers and that poncy game ofcricket. I’m talking about the size of your fish. It’s crucial tokeep your average as high as possible, and certainly higher than yournearest rival (you’ll have a lot of those). Take chub fishing forexample. You need to have an average of well over 5 lb. So every timeyou get one below that, try and shake it off.

If that doesn’t work, just as a 4lb 15 oz upstart chub, that daredto take your bait, is about to come to the net, cut above the hookwith a pair of scissors. “Oh dear,” you say to yourself. “Ah well, myaverage is still 5lb 6oz..

It doesn’t matter if you only catch one fish in a season as longis it’s big, you’re on the right track. And after all, because of thesecrecy of specimen fishing, no-one will ever know you have onlycaught one fish.

Another area of specimen hunting that’s important is that you needto have lots of blanks. In fact the scenario whereby you fished agravel pit for 25 years every weekend without even getting a bite,and then on the 1,301st weekend you actually caught a 35lb mirrorcarp is the perfect one. Commitment, dedication and perseverance areall character traits that you’ll need to develop if you want to makeit to the top. But to reach the very pinnacle it will cost. Yourwife, your family, your job, your friends, your sanity. The list goeson. But so what? Nothing can beat the satisfaction of a 14 lb tenchslipping into your landing net. Particularly when it’s your firstfish in 18 years.

If you want to make it big as a specimen hunter, then secrecy isthe name of the game. Telling lies is second nature to theexperienced specialist. Occasionally you will get some upstart askyou how your fishing is doing lately. Tell him you’ve been catching14 lb barbel from the second peg down from the car park on the localriver. The fact that you haven’t fished there for 12 years isirrelevant. And of course, if you really do catch a nice fish, thenagain lie through your back teeth. If you get asked where your recent12 lb bream came from, actually tell the enquirer it came from thelake that one of your bitter rivals (you’ll have lots of those) isfishing. In fact, go as far as to name the peg, the bait he’s usingand so on. And of course, ask your enquirer if he will keep it secretand promise not to fish there…..

Finally, as a specimen hunter you will be accused of chasing otherpeople’s fish. So what. They’re only jealous. And if they do get onyour nerves, decorate their face with lumps, bumps and bruises (as wediscussed in Part 1). But ignoring these pleasure angling types, getthe weekly angling press and scour the pages for big fish. See oneyou like? Right, where was it from? When you’ve collated theinformation, check your atlas and get over there pronto.

Ok, so the information may be vague – A 14 lb barbel from theSevern. But starting on Plyn Limon, follow the river. It’s only 210miles long, and at some point you’ll recognise the backdrop to thephoto. Then you can fish the same spot. However, there may be aproblem if the angler in the photo is a specimen hunter. Because thenthe fish may not be from the Severn at all. It may be from the Teme,Kennet, Great Ouse, Thames or Trent. You’ve then got problems, butdon’t give up. Find out who the angler is then follow him when hesets off in his car to go fishing. Sooner or later, he’ll lead you tothe hot spot.

Well, providing I haven’t been tracked down by a specimen hunterintent on revenge, I’ll be back next Thursday. But just in caseanyone is after me, exit the M6 at junction 16. Head forStoke-on-Trent and follow the signs for Bignall End….