In no more time than it takes to blink an eye the long, slim, torpedo shape shot from her ambushing spot and engulfed the hapless tiddler. 
With a huge smile that showed her enormous teeth the little fish was spun around and swallowed on the spot.
Then the pike sidled away with a majestic sweep of her mighty tail, back to her ambushing spot, to wait for yet another victim that dared to enter her territory.
Who does the pike remind you of in politics? Past or present, it doesn’t matter. The pike? That has to be Margaret Thatcher. 
Just as deadly is the eel. He’s almost as fast, but what he lacks in speed compared to the pike he makes up for in stealth. ‘As slippery as an eel’ is no idle adage. He can sidle up to you and you’ll hardly know it. He may even pass the time of day and give you a huge smile. But the minute you’re not looking – wham, you’re down the hatch! The eel is surely Tony Blair.
But who’s this sliding from under the lily pad? 
Well, blow me down if it isn’t a cuddly crucian carp, smiling away, bobbing his shiny head up and down, trying to curry favour with everyone. Crafty though, you don’t catch many big crucians in a season. And this one is one of the biggest. He’s bold enough to challenge the eel even though he looks harmless. The crucian carp has to be William Hague.
Along comes a zander, leading a small shoal. There are not many about but they do have teeth and can bite.
They aren’t in all waters and there are lots of anglers who have never seen one. But what they lack in numbers they make up for by snapping at the heels of the bigger fish in the larger shoals. Especially the leader at the front. His name is Charles Kennedy.
Here’s a big, fat mirror carp, cruising along the surface like a battleship, his pug nose prodding a tiddler out of the way as he makes his way towards the piece of bread crust he’s spotted floating on the surface. Then he stops short as he notices the shadow of a line coming from the crust. 
He lifts his head clear of the water and sees the blurred silhouette of an angler on the bank. ‘I thought so.’ He thinks. ‘A bladdy angler thinking he can catch me. Me! Pah, some hope! And even if he did I’d fight him on the beaches……..’ Who else but Winston Churchill.
Finally, a spiked dorsal fin slashes through the surface as a big perch chases and harasses every fish in sight, even his own kind. He’s frightened of nobody and is considered a bit of a rebel. 
The perch has stripes and is also known as ‘The Sergeant’. Left, left, left…….. It can’t be anyone else but Ken Livingstone.
But they all, fish and fishermen alike, respect one man, the man who controls access to the commons (carp). A powerful man with fearsome tackle – Black Rod!
Okay, I’ve had my fun, now you have yours. Which species do you associate with whom?
I’ll give a copy of the book ‘Where to Fish – Lancashire Coarse Fisheries’ to the four best entries. Last entries by 31st July. Winning entries and close-calls will be published.
Click on the link below for a review of the book by Lancashire angler Gary Knowles.
