| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. But he does have a serious side occasionally……. |
PARADOXICALLY……
No, nothing too deep and meaningful this week but… Is angling the one sport that strives to embrace the future with up to the minute materials and technology, while keeping one (or both!) feet jammed firmly in the past?
Imagine some other sports clinging on to ‘traditions’ as tenaciously as our own, and the spectacle they would provide. Michael Schumacher attempting to get round Stowe corner in his Ferrari, shod only with Pirelli 5.60 x 13 cross-plies, even better, if they were remoulds. Of course, if he had not made sufficient allowance for his cable operated drum brakes, arriving at the corner with negligible means of deceleration would be just the start of his worries! Might even call for a much darker shade of overalls to avoid embarrassment when he climbs out of the cockpit…..
Pole vaulters wouldn’t be reaching the heights they do now if they had stayed with their bamboo poles. (And how come they went straight from whole bamboo to glass/carbon? Why did they miss out the obvious evolutionary step of split cane poles? Makes you wonder if they know something we don’t….)
Or perhaps we might have Pete Sampras striding out to a Wimbledon final with his Dunlop Max-Ply wooden racquet. Three games with that at the end of his arm and he would probably have to retire with Repetitive Strain Injury. (Although, as his knuckles are almost dragging the ground when he walks, perhaps he already does!).
Then we have modern footballers having to use those delightful lace-up brown leather footballs. Kicking one of these today is bound to damage a metatarsal or two, and the result of heading the ball will be either concussion, or worse, scalping by the laces. (If the ball didn’t just slide uselessly off your carefully Brylcreemed quiff, or catch the sticking plaster above your eyebrow!!).
Would Linford Christie been quite so quick out of the blocks if he suddenly went all retro and started wearing elasticated plimsolls?
Sharon Davies would probably have sunk if she were forced to wear the knitted swimsuits of yesteryear. (Perhaps she could be persuaded to do, for charity, of course. Then someone could volunteer to stand guard and pull her out if she got into difficulties, and give her the kiss of life, for, say thirty minutes, to ensure she was okay and then give her a hand to get out of that horrible, wet, clinging swimsuit and…Sorry, back to the story!).
But as for us anglers, well, lets start with floats. This is the one area where modern technology in plastics, composites, etc, should have consigned all natural materials to the history books ages ago. But no, there is still nothing better than sitting behind a red-topped quill float. A veritable triumph of aesthetics over performance. Surprising then, that no float manufacturer has brought out a plastic replica quill float yet, should clean up with that one, I would have thought.
Cane rods, now these have to be treated with reverence at all times. Well, any angler that uses them certainly does, because he will have forearms like Popeye from hauling that weight about all day – they weigh a ton! Whilst it appears to be perfectly acceptable to be seen using a split cane Avon or S/U carp rod, where are all the old ‘bottom’ rods with whole cane butt and middle joints and split cane tops, or even those Spanish reed roach rods?
Whatever happened to all those fibreglass rods of days gone bye? Can you see a modern day match fishing star, turning up with his Bruce & Walker ‘CTM’, or perhaps he might pull an Ivan marks ‘Persuader’ out of his holdall, to the amazement of his fellow anglers. Even more interesting would be if he were to be using one of those eighteen feet bamboo roach poles, much in evidence on the Thames many years ago, make and origin unknown, but certainly not one of Messrs Sowerbutts creations!
And when it comes to reels, you can legitimately use any centrepin which either costs over £ 200 new, or is worth that because it is a ‘classic’. Of course, the fact that you are using one demonstrates to all and sundry that you have overcome those tiny irritations that come with the ‘pin’. Like only ever casting two rod lengths out, ‘cos that’s as far as you dare in case of tangles. Or that your line never, ever, gets behind the backplate, and then gets frayed so you have to cut thirty feet off and start all over again. Or it overruns and puts loops on the spool the moment your back is turned. Or you catch you knuckles on the handles when you do get a run from a decent fish (I know ‘proper’ centrepin anglers take the handles off – I’m just talking about me, aren’t I?).
So, are anglers so snobbish that we can are only allow the use of certain items of ‘old’ tackle that are considered acceptable. Should everything else be forgotten or thrown away for fear of ridicule on the bank?
