| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. |
| DON’T LOOK BACK Oh well, New Year has been and gone, out with the old and in with the new. A time to look forwards with anticipation, or look back with fond memories? In particular, I was thinking back to some of the places I have fished and enjoyed in the past. How many of us have done the same and gone back to a favourite old haunt of the past, to re-live happy, bygone days, only to be pulled up sharply by what you see? I know of a small pond in the middle of a field that was shielded from view by a ring of hawthorn trees. A haven for small boys intent on tiddler snatching during balmy summer holidays. There was only one ‘swim’, which would accommodate about four youngsters and their one-piece rods, propped up on Y shaped sticks cut from the hawthorns with our penknives. Considering we fashioned new rodrests every time we went, it was a wonder that there was any foliage left. The pond is long gone, as are the trees; not a trace or their existence is to be seen in the now flat and featureless field. Monsters in the inky blackness? The fishing? Well, no monsters were ever caught, but we knew they just had to be there in a setting like that, didn’t they? There really was that sense about the place that something big lurked down in the depths. Today, a very different scene. The entire perimeter of the lake has a tarmac path, and is in fact a ‘trim trail’ so the energetic amongst us can stop and jump and swing on what looks like telegraph poles arranged as modern art, but apparently these are strategically arranged pieces of exercise apparatus. The pine trees have been thinned out, presumably to let in the light, and large hard-surfaced car parks and a tea shop have appeared. Weekends bring remote controlled powerboats, scuba divers, and hundreds upon hundreds of people out with their dogs and families for a nice long walk ‘in the country’ without ever having to get their boots muddy. And what of the future? Do you think you are fishing in places now that you will remember with a certain fondness as you sit in your rocking chair by the fire, pipe in hand, slippers on feet? Will it be the scenic splendour of a commercial carp puddle, the straight line of that Fen (which one was it now?) That sterile, concrete bowl trout fishery, etc, etc. I appreciate the need for progress, and modernisation, but some of these landscaping schemes could surely be done with a slightly more sympathetic eye. Angling is still a sport that trades on its contemplative and quiet nature. This can’t always be achieved if it is forced to share facilities with others. Perhaps it is the old romantic in me, but I prefer to fish places that have at least some aesthetic appeal, particularly if I blank, which is more often than not! Probably paying too much attention to what is going on around rather than concentrating on the fishing. I want to be a part of the scenery rather than just sat on it. I don’t just want to be somewhere just for the sake of being able to catch fish. We could well be on the slippery slope of indoor, all year round, floodlit ‘Fish-O-Dromes’ if we’re not careful. At least that might bring a new lease of life to some of those defunct municipal swimming baths that always seem to feature in episodes of ‘The Bill’ and the like, that are always empty apart from a dead body in the deep end! Perhaps the best option is to leave the memories where they are and never go back, it’s like bumping into the school girl you used to cry yourself to sleep over back in the fourth year. You hardly recognised her, size eighteen, three kids in tow, no make-up, hair scraped back and roots showing through. How could she have let herself go like that, when you look in the mirror you still see the same face staring back at you, it hasn’t changed a bit over all those years! COUNTRY LIFE Now, by way of a change, a small question for our cousins ‘across the pond’. I flew out with my family to celebrate the New Year in Times Square, New York. (What a flash, pretentious git, you say!) Apart from having a fabulous time, and gaining enough memories to last me until I am finally sat in my rocking chair, one thing caught my eye while I was out and about. Strolling around Central Park, I came across a fishing notice at the edge of one of the lakes. Details of permits, etc, barbless hooks only and all fish are catch and release. What fish, I wondered? There was of course not one angler in sight to question, so does anyone know what is in those lakes? And also, in five days of wandering around that great city looking for somewhere to top up my Rapalas, I only managed to find one tackle shop, Orvis on 5th Avenue. My wife insisted we go in and look for those ‘things’ despite my insistence there wouldn’t be any, (there weren’t). I will state that looking for tackle shops when we are in foreign climes is outnumbered by at least 30/1 against actually visiting shoe and clothes shops, but strange to say it is only my request that is usually met with a “Do we have to?” Anyway, despite the protests, I did manage to get hold of all three Orvis catalogues. Forget the fishing tackle, the gift selection book opened up a whole new world to me. Here is temptation beyond measure for the sybaritic. A few prime examples of ‘must haves’ which I picked out at random, before falling about with laughter, are listed below (with the addition of some pithy comments, of course). Cocktail table based on a replica of a wooden dog sled – $995 Personalised popcorn bowls – $49 for 4 Metal candle holder with ‘novelty ‘ duck’s feet – $19 Side by side kids cap gun with re-usable shells to teach ‘gun safety’ – $49 Wicker litter box cover – $129 (not real wicker) Xmas stockings for your dog. Personalised with up to 12 characters – $29.50 These are just a few of the marvellous items on offer in a feature packed 300-page catalogue. I can’t help thinking that our own tackle companies such as Daiwa and Shakespeare aren’t missing out by not widening their appeal to this whole ‘faux country’ mob who will apparently buy just about anything to give themselves a taste of the great outdoors. You know the type, 4 x 4 for the school run, Aga cooker, Hunter wellies to hang the washing out, green quilted body warmer, checked shirt, corduroy flat cap, etc, etc. Might want to miss out on the personalisation thing if the catalogues include fishing tackle, or you will be getting things like lambswool bedchair covers with terms of endearment from your loved one such as ‘Hunny-Bunny’ stencilled on them. Maybe not such a good idea, after all….. And yet, is this not the way forward for angling in the future? Rather than being seen as a stand alone, and rather isolated sport, shouldn’t we embrace a cross-over with other country pursuits, both real and perceived ‘life style’? Much as I have joked about some of the more over the top items in the Orvis catalogue, the concept of a one-stop anything ‘outdoors’ works very well. Over here in England, there are a whole host of items that could be banded together in an ‘outdoor pursuits’ catalogue. Manufacturers of anything even remotely ‘outdoors’ not just the huntin’, shootin’, fishin’, walkin, horsey brigades, could contribute to one mammoth catalogue. Wouldn’t it be better for angling to be associated with ‘healthy’ outdoor sports in this way, rather then trying to go it alone? |
