| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. |
NEW PRODUCTS FROM TICKLETACKLE PLC
With the close season upon us, the TickleTackle boffins have been hard at work to bring you a fresh crop of exciting, never before available products, in plenty of time for that traditional June 16th start.
Funnel-Tunnel
Been to the dentist lately? Beside your chair you would have seen a small bowl where you ‘Rinse and Spit’. This idea has been modified to allow a gentle, constant trickle of baits directly into your swim. Semi-rigid plastic tubing is unrolled and then floated out to the exact spot and upon opening a valve this tube will fill with water and sink slowly to the bottom. At the bankside, a funnel is inserted into the tube. Small aquatic pumps attached to the funnel will gently wash any freebies down into you swim, without the constant bombardment normally associated with ‘baiting up’. As an added bonus, flavourings and scents can be introduced along the same route.
But, you say, how will I know where this piscatorial banquet is, as it is all being introduced underwater. The answer is in a range on biodegradable and environmentally sound, water-based dyes that will show up the baited area like a beacon when introduced into the ‘Funnel’.
Various colours are available, including a luminous variety especially for night time use. A selection of hues in various shades of brown, green and beige can be introduced together to produce a camouflage effect around the bait thereby lessening the need for anglers to take cover on the bank. Given the limited amount of ‘trajectory headroom’ available at these proposed new indoor fisheries, this could be just the edge you need. (It will save you trying to ‘bounce groundbait and loose feed off the ceiling – could get very messy, skid marks on the ceilings that resemble….).
Take Cover
Ever at the cutting edge, TickleTackle have taken note of the specialised requirements that these new indoor fisheries will demand. These sub-tropical arenas will need a different approach to clothing and accessories, and with this in mind they have managed to secure the services of Ms T Ide, editor of the anglers’ lifestyle magazine, Fyshyng Fashyon. Taking the tropical theme, the new range of clothing will be based around the traditional Safari Suit, with taupe being the main colourway, although ‘Jungle Palm’ print will be available soon, along with other exotic foliage variations as these fisheries mature.
These suits (long or short trouser options) will be accessorised with either Panama hats or pith helmets, the latter being washable as it can be turned upside down and be pressed into service as a groundbait mixing bowl. Shoes, boots, ruckbags, belts, netbags etc. will all be available in a brand new (not tested on animals) product called ‘Allygator Skyn’. In addition, and for the more rugged amongst us, an additional clothing range will launched under the ‘Indyana’ label. With Fedora hat, ‘Mock Croc’ waistcoat and bull whip options, this macho get up could see more than just bank side action.
Along with the clothing, and to complement the tropical feeling, rod rests, landing net poles and rod pods will be made out of bamboo from sustainable plantations, and there is even crazy talk of using this material to make fishing rods – whatever next! Bedchairs will have bamboo frames with a choice of rattan or raffia covers. Bivvies, where allowed, will come in mud or straw hut variations. Bank side cooking will transfer from gas-powered appliances or barbecues to a more traditional cast iron pot, suspended on a tripod over an open fire.
LayZeeAyd
Missing runs that happen when you nod off? Leaping out of your bedchair and falling flat on your face because your feet are still in your sleeping bag? This could all be a thing of the past with the all-new LayZeeAyd. A spring loaded device to attach to your rod pod, and linked to your alarms, it will raise your rod from horizontal to vertical in 0.57 seconds, as soon as your buzzer sounds, ensuring the fish is hooked. Warning – due to the high forces generated during operation, do not attempt to use for any other purpose than getting fishing rods into a vertical position in an instant.
DoubleWarning – do not use in indoor fisheries if rod is more that 13′ long – risk of splintering tip or puncturing roof lining.
Meth-Hod
Want instant success at commercial fisheries, and need to pile in your bait in a hurry? Then Meth-Hod is for you. Throwing stick with a capacity of around five gallons (23 litres). If you can lift it, then you can sling it. Tests have shown that far from scaring fish away, the shock waves of this amount of bait hitting the water in one go will temporarily stun any fish in the immediate area. When they come round, they find a carpet of bait all around them, and so start feeding as if nothing has happened.
WARNING – Can cause tidal waves – not recommended for indoor fisheries.
TickleTackle – committed to bringing you products you didn’t know you wanted at prices you will find hard to believe.
