| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. |
| AMANDA’S TALE Hmmm…..it appears that ‘someone’ has been writing stories about me and putting them on this site for all to read, perhaps it’s time for me to put the record straight. To begin with, I will state that I certainly do travel the country, organising seminars, exhibitions and doing the odd bit of PR work along the way. This brings me into contact with a lot of male clients, and I sometimes enjoy a little bit of hospitality, always at the client’s expense of course; nothing wrong with that, is there? Being that I am in the public eye so much, I have to keep in shape, I spend a lot of money keeping my (naturally) blonde hair just right, and regular gym and sun bed sessions keep me toned and tanned, not bad for a girl of a ‘certain age’ wouldn’t you say?
Anyway, from the slightly outrageous stories about me posted on this fishing website, I have apparently gained an ardent admirer, who we shall call ‘J’ who happens to live not far from me in leafy Buckinghamshire. Out of a sense of curiosity I ‘persuaded’ the writer of these aforementioned salacious tales to give me the contact details of my new angling admirer (it really is amazing what the merest hint of blackmail regarding a ‘business trip’ to Sheffield’s Hallam Towers Hotel, two young ladies of certain repute, a bag of squeaky toys and a bottle of glycerine….will do) and so I arranged to meet up with ‘J’ a week ago. ‘J’ told me he planned to make it a memorable meeting, offering to pick me up in his MG, and whisk me of to an upmarket eatery he knew, a little way out of his hometown. He knows how to turn a young girls’ head, I thought, a ride in a sports car, dinner in the restaurant of the very famous hotel overlooking the weir at Marlow, then who knows……. I could hardly wait! On the day appointed day for our assignation, I spent a lot of time wondering just what to wear. I had my hair pinned up to go with the scarf, which is de rigueur for top-down motoring, very Audrey Hepburn. Now, bearing in mind I was going to be taken for a posh meal, obviously a crisp, tight little blouse, with just the right number of buttons undone, no trousers or jeans, of course, it had to be a skirt, with a slit up the side, naturally – but how short? Didn’t want to look too tarty, but if ‘J’ was the gentleman I hoped, he would come round and open the car door when we arrived. Maybe a little tease would whet his appetite, with the tiniest glimpse of stocking top (not fishnet – just too blas  When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community.
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