| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way as well. So here’s a regular column from Kevin Perkins to remind us that life is for laughing at, or taking the p*** out of, whenever we can. |
CONFESSIONS OF A NON CARP ANGLER I will confess from the outset that I am not a carp angler, and that try as I might, I just don’t ‘get’ the carp scene at all. Not that I am knocking those who do, but when you appear to need degrees in chemistry, physics, ichthyology, even psychology, etc, just to catch a particular type of fish, then I have to begin to wonder where it is all going to end. Perhaps this could be viewed as a chicken and egg situation, where the fish are constantly wising up to the onslaught of new baits and tactics, or, on the other hand, are anglers using their superior intellect and technology and managing to remain successful by staying one step ahead of their quarry? And to cap it all, the whole thing is further complicated by there being two different types of carp, and by that, I don’t mean mirror and common. There are the carp sought by dedicated specimen hunters, which are all obviously pure-bred, highly intelligent fish that can proudly trace there unsullied ancestry back to Leney stocked originals, and then there are the ‘others’. These ‘others’ are obviously some mongrel breed; a backward gene pool splicing that has thrown up a mutant strain of half-wit fish that are only ever suitable for stocking in commercial fisheries. So different are these fish in character to those noble fish beloved by the specimen boys, that anglers might even need to be in fear of handling such mutations. Whereas you may stalk a specimen fish for hours, days, weeks, having to practice total concealment, whilst not daring to show yourself to the fish, nor making a sound for fear of spooking the ever-vigilant fish, you need not be quite so cautious if a commercial carp is you chosen target. Now you can employ the not so subtle ‘Baggin Waggler’ to some effect. Larger than a pike float, heavier than a beachcasting lead, commercial carp will not shy away when this imitation Exocet hits the water, oh no. In fact they are drawn to it like a magnet, and will sometimes attack it with a ferocity that would not disgrace their distant piscine cousins, the piranha. Such overhead commotion wouldn’t be tolerated by our specimen carp, even something as unnerving as a cloud passing overhead has been known to put them off for weeks Should the weather or other conditions preclude ‘float’ fishing, the ‘Method’ feeder can be employed to similar deadly effect. A refinement (?) of the cage feeder, it only requires the addition of around half a pound of groundbait mix before it is launched. A three-inch hook link needs to be supplemented with elastic; such is the ferocity of the takes. In fact, the difference in bite detection alone will tell you we are dealing with two totally different species. Fishing for specimen carp demands you employ highly sophisticated alarm systems, the dearer and more complicated the better, and remote sensing makes them even more effective, apparently. These detectors can relay the merest nibble or tweak, which may be all the indication of a bite that you will get from a specimen fish. No such finesse needed with commercial carp, bite indication is either effected by the rod butt hitting you under the chin with some force, or failing that the rod and reel will be towed off round the lake! Indeed yet another difference between the species is highlighted by something as simple as the type of rod rests you require. For specimen carp, only the very best stainless steel or titanium, state of the art rod pods will do. For commercial carp, a ‘Y’ shaped branch pulled out of a nearby hedgerow will be more than adequate. Totally alien though it must seem, these commercial carp can be caught on tackle that does not require you to have attained membership of the Carp Rig Advanced Professionals society before you are allowed to even wet a line. Commercial carp are so untrained that they will actually take baits that have been placed on hooks, not detached from it by one of over a hundred different variations of the hair rig, each more fiendishly cunning in its complexity than the next And when it comes to bait, this really shows up the gulf in class between the two disciplines. Commercial carp will eat dog biscuits, 20p tins of cat food, worms, maggots, sweet corn, pellets, let’s face it, just about anything! Specimen carp won’t look at a bait that isn’t perfectly spherical, and has to contain at least twelve different ingredients, four of which have to have unpronounceable scientific names, and two of those can only be obtained on prescription! Locating your quarry shows a final disparity between the breeds. Commercial carp can be caught use poles! Now, the longest of these is a mere 16 metres, which is still 132.57 yards away from where specimen carp live, as we all know you have to cast at least 150 yards to reach them. And what about baiting up? Just how long would it take to cup in 50 kilos (absolute minimum amount of bait required for specimen carp) of Blackberry and Haddock boilies, at around eight per cupful, and the friction burns from all that shipping/unshipping doesn’t bear thinking about. Obviously it is only right to recognise that commercial and specimen carp are two separate species, and to identify the difference we should formally re-brand them. Commercial fish are obviously far easier to catch, and require far les in the way of sophistication, and so will keep the generic name of Carp. Specimen fish, however, being far more difficult to catch, demand a name more befitting of their higher, even regal status. We should bring back a royal name form the past and henceforth the will be given the prefix of ‘King’. So, those elusive beasts will be referred to as ‘King Carp’ and those who are brave enough to seek them out will be named ‘King Carp Anglers’, although I do believe some people already call them something very similar….. |
