| KEVIN PERKINS | |
Never mind smelling the flowers, don’t forget to take time out to see the satirical side of fishing life and grab a laugh along the way. |
The Alternative Angler – Needlz and PynzThere has been some disquiet among the more discerning tackle tarts that there has been a dearth of new products from TickleTackle of late. Some just assume that it is simply a marketing ploy to restrict supply and increase demand (as if!) while others imagine that the TT boffins are beavering away as ever, and a whole clutch of new products will be launched in the not too distant future.The truth is, with Xmas coming up, those same boffins are facing their greatest ever challenge in trying to assemble a catalogue of affordable stocking fillers. Dreaming up dozens of innovative, pushing the envelope, blue sky thinking and out of the box products is no problem. But making them appear affordable, well, that is proving almost impossible In any case, and as a concession to their loyal customers, a few of the myriad of planned new TickleTackle products have just been rush released. Needlz Has camou had its day? The recent launch of a camou reel shows that mainstream manufacturers are never shy of flogging an idea to death, but TT have mined another niche with the launch of ‘Needlz’ the DIY camouflage tattoo kit. We’ve all seen anglers camou’d up from head to toe, but with their pasty white moon faces and lily-white hands still blatantly visible. Well it’s time for those anglers to take a leaf from the Maori warriors book and got their faces and the backs of their hands camou tattooed to match their outfits – wear your colours with pride! We know that you could achieve the same effect with the camouflage creams that are available. But do you want to be known as the one who takes make-up onto the bank? You just know what your mates will say when you have to pull out a mirror and start touching up, either because you’ve just caught a fish and you want to look your best for the photo, or you’ve missed a run and smudged your camou blusher by bawling your eyes out and smeared it. To top off the look, and for complete coverage for those who don’t bother to wear a hat, there is Streakz, the home hair dye kit in a range of vibrant and true-to-life Woodland colours that completely banish grey as well (matching wigs are available for the follicularly challenged). Pynz Like all good ideas, the simple ones are best. The continuing rise in popularity of centrepin reels offers a chance to combine tradition, technology and energy saving all in one. A small dynamo is fitted to the hub of the spool and when it spins, it re-charges batteries which are stored in the rod butt. New applications for this are coming on-stream all the time, but to begin with, the first is heated elements set into the butt for those frosty morning grayling sessions. A further development sees a tiny wire threaded through the hollow core of braided line. This has many uses, and originally was designed just to power an LED lamp in the top of the float; handy on those gloomy afternoons or when you want to fish on into the twilight. Increase the voltage and a quick burst causes the braid to go stiff, (a similar effect to applying a de-fibrillator) and this helps with ‘mending’ the line and holding up the float. Significantly crank up the power settings and the Taser effect swings into action and you can electro-fish everything in you swim. Not very sporting, but very, very effective, and attracting a lot of attention from our Eastern European cousins. BlyngThyngz In response to some who may not appreciate the understated quality of TickleTackle products, a tie-up with BlyngThyngz will be the launch platform for a range of items, which will leave your fellow anglers in no doubt just how much you have spent. Spearheading this range is the Brytethyng watch (no relation to that low-rent Brietling mob). Not just electronic; it is nuclear powered, thanks to a surplus of fission material brought about by the de-commissioning of some Russian ICBM warheads that happened to be lying about. Needless to say, this watch doesn’t just glow in the dark; it positively illuminates the entire surroundings. A dial on the side regulates the output, and a range of accessories is available to convert the watch into such things as a useful headlamp, leaving your hands free for more important matters. With the watch placed face-up on an asbestos stand and turned up to maximum power it will boil a pint of water in 60 seconds. Whereas other watches rely on kinetic energy to keep them topped up, the Brytethyng is specifically designed for anglers, who are known for remaining comatose for long periods of time (it will have a half life of 10,000 years, enough for even the hardiest of long stay carpers). Instead of wrist action powering the watch, the watch can power the wrist. Settings range from gentle buzzing, useful to act as an alarm (wake up call, pub is open, kebab van has arrived etc, etc) to violent shaking. This mode is particularly useful in mixing ground bait, or maybe knocking up a boilie mix. Just pop the ingredients in a bucket, set the watch vibration to maximum setting, shove your hand in and the rapid backwards and forwards motion will have it done in no time with no effort from yourself. Other uses of this feature have been suggested, but will not be shown in the instruction manual… The Brytethyng will be retailed in a presentation velveteen covered lead-lined box, with matching Geiger-counter and certificate of authenticity showing that it is one of a very limited edition, and it is fully guaranteed for twelve months, or the lifetime of the wearer, whichever comes first. These exciting new products are only available from your local accredited TT dealership, and remember that only Tickle Tackle offer you products you didn’t know you wanted at prices you will find impossible to believe. |
