Saturday on the Dove and Sunday on Dam Flask
Following Steve King’s winning bid (in Cakey’s Charity Auction in aid of a local Diebetes youth group) for a day’s fishing with the Port and Stilton Club (PaSC), a date was set for 26th of July, mid summer when glorious British sunny weather was guaranteed. As Steve was coming to the wild North from the genteel sophisticates of London we decided to entertain him with a day on the Dove as a “Horses Douvries” for the main event! In the end, Spiders and Poshers were the only ones who caught fish (Posher’s 3lbs chub shown below) on the river that was 4ft up, but there was always the next day for our guest!
The weather was almost tropical as His Lordship left Sheffield, but upon arriving at the venue he found Poshers had brought Manchester weather with him. So brollies were the first item of tackle out for everyone. (Even Poshers used one; and he believes that umbrellas are the Devil’s Spawn. Tools of the Anti-Christ. Playthings for wimps, evidence of a chronic weakness of character, clearly for those too tight to purchase proper outdoor wear. It’s amazing how those more basic STD treatments from his student days have caused this psychosis).
Matt Corker had sent his apologies; he was unable to attend due to previous commitments; his commitment to his wife who told him he wasn’t going.
With everyone set up, Spiders came to my swim to test the quality of my maggots. He took a good 1/2 a pint for testing, but needed to come back two hours later for further samples.
Steve King was first to catch with a nice roach, but this didn’t count to his total as Spiders did not witness the fish. Ten minutes later and Steve was in again, but again failed to get Spiders to witness the fish, so once more it didn’t count. (If Steve comes up again we may explain the rules to him.)
Spiders then opened his account. His Lordship was also soon in with a roach, after striking at 131 “knocks” in the first 12 minutes and losing the complete stock of feeders from four tackle shops.
Steve, Spiders and His Lordship were fishing maggot feeders at about 30-50 feet out whilst Poshers opted to fish banded pellet on the waggler about 8 foot out. After about an hour he changed to his feeder rod but, unfortunately, he had mistaken Damflask reservoir for a canal and had brought his light canal wand rod with him and could only cast 12 foot and was struggling to get to the fish. Also, because of the mass ranks of the Brigade of Pike, the fish were struggling to get to him!
Lunch was taken at 2 o’clock, fresh salads, cheese pasties, pork pie, Stilton and “Bavarian Brie”, biscuits and finest strawberry and cream shortbread, all washed down with a couple of bottles of the finest port.
(Editor’s note: this is what the club is all about, it’s got nothing whatsoever to do with fishing!)
Spiders, adopting a Buddhist lotus position by gazing into his navel, then gave the PaSC treasurer’s report. Once again the funds were in the red, but Spiders assured the President and Chairman that his expenses of a Hardy fly rod and him having his ear hair waxed were entirely justifiable.
After lunch one member of the PaSC had a nap. The rest of us recommenced; with the hour for lunch being deemed as “Resting the swim”.
Poshers was off the mark, at last opening his account with a good sized roach.
More fish were caught, but Spiders, the match official, disqualified all of them. His Lordship was even seen attempting to tickle a roach. He was clearly missing the below stairs maids who had been told to stay at Furkham Hall as they were wet enough already. His Lordship did not want them to get a chill, he’s very caring like that.
All too soon it was time to pack up and the prizes were given, the final scores being – winner of the “Butler’s Bell” for most fish was Spiders with 6 (is he going for the Grand Slam of FM trophies?). Second was Lord Paul with 5 fish and he won the newest trophy – “Corky’s Jug” for the angler bringing the most bait and not using it (2 unopened tins of sweetcorn, 2 tins of meat, pellets and ground bait). Steve King was a worthy third with 4 fish and winner of “His Lordships Chalice” for the largest fish (though Spider did contest this.)
Posher’s finished with just one fish and sadly failed to win a prize – “It’s the taking part that is important” he lied. Matt Corker retained his “Furkum Hall Crystal Vase” for smallest fish even in his absence as it was deemed he would have caught the smallest fish had he attended. Her Ladyship arrived in the coach and four, but declined to alight because of the rain. Her presence, however, was sufficient to lend an air of grace and sophistication to the proceedings.
Comment must be made regarding the general paucity of joggers and in most cases their poor quality. There were three or four exceptions that we must criticise for detracting our attention from bites which were obviously from specimen roach, bream and chub.
Perhaps more of you may wish to join us next time, remember your wallets. Spiders (Hon. Treasurer of the FM Port and Stilton Club) won’t forget!!
Words from our honoured guest, Mr Steve King
A memorable weekend for several reasons:
The journey up was fraught with delays! Poshers offered me a glass of wine when I finally arrived at 10 pm which was most welcome after the journey! Getting up at six the next morning took a huge effort – I was very tempted to say something rude and go back to sleep! However the struggle with an unfamiliar alarm and being unable to locate my reading glasses meant that I was fully awake by the time I had figured out how to switch the damn thing off
On Saturday the Dove was up three feet and conditions were not exactly easy!
On Sunday at Damflask it rained all day, but at least the wind speed was not quite up to Clattercote standards!! The company and hospitality were, however, excellent!
It was a shame that the fishing was not up to much, but a big thank you to Poshers (and his charming wife Brenda), MoreSpiders and Lord Paul. The Port and Stilton were excellent and the Bavarian Brie with herbs and garlic was noteworthy too!!
I felt honoured to attend. Addendum: Apparently, it has come to light that the foundations of this text were laid by Lord Paul himself and that Poshers then added the weightier stuff. We appreciate his Lordship’s contribution.
