The Private Diaries of an FM Species Hunter

A “tongue in cheek” diary account of one person’s efforts in the recent FM Species Hunt.

Day One – 18th August
So! What a draw, me and the great Bazza! What a team, we can’t fail. I know it’s all a bit of fun and for a cracking good cause but I’m feeling quite competitive! I dropped Baz an Email just to let him know how honoured I am to be alongside a Legend of FM. Told him I should be able to sneak out tomorrow and nab a few points. Potential for a few bonuses as well!

Day Two – 19th August
Plan to wander off to the local commercial this afternoon. Intend to fish ‘The Stock Pond’ where I’m guaranteed a variety of fish (I should know, I helped stock the place!).

Tench

Good start, 6 points including a bonus tench and chub. I didn’t get the real bonus of a barbel though. Might have to go back and try again? Nabbed a couple of proper carp as well for more points. It’s a shame Hybrids and F1’s don’t count!

I wonder how Bazza got on?

Day Three – 20th August
Family Day! So no fishing, don’t tell Baz.

But wait, an Email from an anonymous well-wisher, inviting me to fish Portsmouth Sea Life Centre? As it’s for charity they assure me it’s OK and everything is arranged. What a chance to add real bonus fish and loads of points!!!

Day Four – 21st August
Yeah, right sucker! Had to spend over £ 3,000 to replace the confiscated tackle (wonder if the insurance will cover it?).

Carp

Anyway, went for some more bonus points in the afternoon. I dusted off the old fly gear and went back to Nunnery Point at Chew Valley. Haven’t fished it for 26 years but it still looked the same! Shame about the lack of fish though, 300 mile round trip for zero points! I could have been on the “Pond” after that “missing” barbel!

Day Five – 22nd August
Back to “The Stock Pond” straight from work. There was plenty of roach, rudd and perch but no barbel! I know they’re in there, I stocked them!

Rudd

Another exchange of Emails with Baz reveals he has had a rough couple of days, ended up fishing an area he didn’t like and blanked. Muttering on about “being too kind hearted”! Still he knows what he’s doing; he’s a God among the men of FM.

Day Six – 23rd August
Four hour lunch break! I tried the local club lake for the millions of resident crucians but failed miserably, only picking up roach, rudd and perch again(don’t understand, I’ve never had a Rudd from there before!).

Sent the bad news to Baz. He’s strangely quiet?

Day Seven – 24th August
Now I’ve got the fly gear out of the shed, I’m giving the local ‘Put and Take’ a go this afternoon.

I land a cracking perch on the ‘Big Pink One’ (one of my exclusive Marabou/Jungle Cock concoctions), must have been close to 4lbs but what’s the point?

Just got my casting together after 6 hours when the owner approached me and asked me to leave. Didn’t like seeing so much foam on the surface of his lake apparently. He didn’t seem impressed by my tandem Black & Orange Lures either! Riparian Owners? Who needs them?

Day Eight – 25th August
Sneaked off work early to get a couple of hours in on the river. Must get a barbel, gudgeon, dace and maybe a bleak. Baz says he still blanking! Must be for the benefit of the others “listening in” on the forum? Surely he’s kidding?

Anyway, had plenty of roach, rudd and perch but I’ve already got those!

Went back to “The Stock Pond” for the last hour or so. Still no barbel! I bet “Steve D.B.” has landed his “pet” Barbel several times already!

Day Nine – 26th August
What the hell is Baz up to? I’m fishing me rocks off and he’s still blanking! This is ridiculous, I reckon he’s spending all his time posting on The Forum and probably loads of other sites as well. He’s probably a closet golfer. J

This is serious, only two days to go and he’s still not scoring. Probably too busy kicking people off his lakes and confiscating their ‘out of date’ tickets! Either that or he’s too busy in the ’19th’ at his local club.

So anyway I have another fling at “The Stock Pond” in the evening. Where’s the barbel? I don’t want 2lb roach, 3lb rudd and 4lb perch, they don’t count! I’m sure that 7lb+ chub cavorting around the swim didn’t help matters either.

Day 10 – 27th August
Fore! Where are you Baz?

I’ve just spent the afternoon emptying the contents of my stomach over the side of the “Mary Rose II” charter boat out of Poole Harbour. Promised loads of mackerel, Pouting and other weird residents of the deep but couldn’t stand up long enough to cast let alone catch something! Whose idea was this?

The Stock Pond didn’t produce this evening either, except for the 29lb common and 3lb roach, but again they don’t count! Finally hooked a barbel, but it threw the hook back at me as it came towards the net! Every time I stood up everything started to sway!

He’s not answering my emails at all now!

Day 11 – 28th August
The final day! It’s dawn at The Stock Pond and still no barbel. Don’t understand it, yesterday morning’s match was won with 136lb of barbel to 12oz and I can’t catch a single one. I pretty well know each of those damn whiskered devils by their first names and will they oblige?

We’ve not added to the total since day one! All that effort (at least on my part) and the score remains the same. What’s Baz up to? Why hasn’t he caught? Why doesn’t he answer my emails? Does he really exist? Maybe he’s just a figment of the collective FM imagination?

The ResultsThirty One Species!! My old team mate Wintle has just submitted 31different species!

Not wishing to cast aspersions or anything else like that BUT I think I may have seen him lurking in the vicinity of Portsmouth Sea Life Centre last week!!!