After a period of sustained house hunting and the kind of negotiating Bruce Willis and the late, great Alan Rickman got up to, even the current, future ex Mrs H was hacked off with suits, paperwork, phone calls and when I told her I was going fishing, the reply was the last thing I expected. She's coming with me? You heard me right? I said FISHING?
Ever the optimist and ever hopeful that this sort of thing could help convince her that Binka's Hardy collection, like Russian nuclear capability, needs a rival powerful Normark faction (controlled by me, of course) to maintain equilibrium and general safety for all, I agreed and still packed my ipod but looked ruefully at my old friend as I couldn't see it putting out any classic rock today....not even Bachman Turner Overdrive, mate....
So, after cubing some 6mm and 8mm Spam, bait boxes of corn and prawns, and rounding up the last of a box of red maggots in the bait ridge, we got in the car and headed for the same lake as last week and, hopefully, for a swim I'd never fished before but where a friend had ripped himself some new muscles with a cargo of carp and tench a couple of years back.
On arrival, I broke out my Shimano Commercial Beastmaster pole, the same Drennan Tench Float rod as last week and, forgetting who was there, a recently acquired Drennan Acolyte landing net handle and head. I froze in horror but she was already eye deep in some trashy romance novel so, regaining my composure, the pole was tooled up with 8lb main to a 14 on 6lb trace and Preston Tyson float. The rod with a 4BB Drennan straight waggler and 10lb main to 8lb trace and a size 10 for the big prawns. These choices arrived by sheer chance, the bailiff was in the next swim as I arrived and advised that the reasonable, pleasant weather had woken up Johnny Carp. He also added, like a Germanic Hollywood villain, that there were also recently introduced surprises for me to mix it with. I asked him to expand but all I got was "you'll see" and a slight laugh.
The swim, my chosen one, had a nice, bush fringed island in front of me which I hoped to plunder with the pole and, as I could reach the right hand end of said Island, I also planned to cast the rod into open water and draw back to the very edge of the island.
Cupping several pots of hemp, a few pellets, maggot, corn and meat along the island and scissoring a few prawns for good measure I also fed the far end just in case but made sure not to overdo it.
The first hour brought nothing but the odd comment from er outdoors, usually in the negative. I tried explaining that the warmer weather will bring better sport but I might as well have read out the phone book.
I began to have horror visions of blanking and the long haired General totting up the bait bill, diesel used and other negatives but, as my malaise was close to bottoming out, the pole float dived and I struck into a small common around 2lbs, which had taken a 6mm cube. Thank you, God. Another 98lbs worth would be so welcome....
However, silence again returned following the odd visitor's release. A half hour later and the float started to dance and flutter and quickly dived again. A slightly better mirror circa 3lbs gave a good account but was soon scooped and returned.
As the 14 hook in use was a smallish 14, I popped two red maggots on and a small roach, a small perch, two more small roach and a tiny carp of 4oz or so quickly followed.
I thought about keeping this going as any fish was better than none but it was obvious the small stuff would get to the bait every time so decided to try and pick out the bigger stuff so tried a grain of corn which quickly picked up a 1lb common but which I thought might do the business so stuck with it. A roach around 10oz followed which was a nice reward and impressed her as, I had to agree, it was a nice looking fish.
Two grains now and the float slipped under and the strike told me instantly this was what I'd been hoping for. The fish took off, putting a healthy bend in the pole and instantly turning her into my new coach complete with advice and technique recommendations. Eventually, the fish turned and after three attempts I netted a scarred, old warrior of a mirror of around 7lbs.
After she'd taken a quick snap, I thought I'd give the prawn a go and abandoned it after 45 minutes or so of fruitless waiting. Surprised me a bit to be honest, I thought something would have a go but no, nothing doing.
Back on an 8mm cube and, like a switch flicked, away it went and I'd hooked what felt like a corkscrew in the hands of a prize winning break dancer. I very quickly told myself I really wanted to land this fish as I had no idea what the heck it was, it felt big and strong but not carp or tench like.
It seemed to turn around almost over its own head and gave me the strangest fight, very enjoyable. She was also engrossed now and, disturbingly put down her book and picked up the net. Like a spillage of alphabet spaghetti this could spell disaster. Eventually the fish tired and the churlish 10 per cent in me toyed with the idea of my new ghillie screwing this up but, no, like an expert Hawaiian spear fisher she netted it first go and hauled its stunned, tired frame from the water giving us both a shock. Imagine if you will, dear reader, a crucian carp of near record proportions stuffed with tennis balls and then swum past an exploding bomb. With a shredded tail of epic dimensions, this gold, black and brown specimen had certainly put the "mental" in "ornamental".
Back out and a more traditional common of around 3lbs soon followed on the meat and a last reward, a crucian of around 12oz. A last half hour was negotiated as she wanted to get home in good time for the England-Ireland game (she can also direct both the English forwards and backs with life threatening efficiency also) so I stuck two maggots on to pick up a few bits. A few small roach and perch followed and, at last knockings, a skimmer around the pound mark.
So, that was it. Packed up and got home in good time and she knocked up a top draw sausage casserole that was enough to convince me that she does have her plus points, fishing and rugby coaching notwithstanding.
Have a great week all and take the greatest of care. My turn to feed the cat, apparently.....
